I have not been able to write in what seems like forever. But don't I say that every time I write these days?
I feel like we are so consumed within our every day, day-to-day lives, that we forget to take moments and appreciate what we have. To take the time out of our day to give back a little. Pay it forward, in some sort of way. We forget those moments. We get so caught up in what seems like the now but in reality we are missing out on the most extraordinary occasions and junctures. The extraordinary to be carefree, to be childish, to play, to get lost in ourselves and in others. We miss out on the extraordinary moments where you are free to let go and let loose where there is uncontrollable laughing until you cry, where your stomach is aching from the consumption of happiness. There needs to be more of that in life. Surrounding yourself within the negative energy of others should not be an option. Having good light and vibes is what's needed most in life. We often forget this because reality feels all to harsh. We create our own reality. We are the ones in control of what we think, how we feel, what we do within our souls, and our lives. Make that life, YOUR life, something so beautiful and full of light.
I know a while back I wrote how depression is one of the hardest ruts to dig yourself out of. That some days the consumption of darkness is so irreversible you cannot remember which way is up. But I went on to tell you that, that was okay, and that it takes time to really get over something that is so monumental and tragic. You will know when it is time. If you are trying and working at making your life better, there will come a day where you know you are stronger than anything in the world and you can survive the most cut throat of situations. You will find yourself laughing more, opening up, letting go of all the accentuation and stress that weighed you down before.
You will come to the realization that your life, no matter what had happen to you, abuse (metal, physical, emotional, or sexual), death, accident, what ever it may be, will always be in your control for the outcome. From the moment you wake up and stretch for the first time, until you go to bed and have your final thoughts of the day, you have control on how you feel and how you want to navigate all of those moments. I have experienced this first hand, and I have overcome it and finally realized none of it was my fault, and that if I want to better my life and my future that I have the control and that I have the option to be carefree and get lost in this blissful life.
Your mind becomes more clear. You begin to have hope. Hope for your dreams. Like my dreams. I dream I will be able to travel the world and gain more knowledge first hand of different cultures and experience life from a different view of the world. I dream that I will be the aspiring, determinate person I know I can be and help change lives. I dream that I will accomplish every goal I set my mind too. I dream that I will continue to be carefree, childish, silly, and fun, but know when I have to be serious. I dream that I will cherish each and every soul I come across from each and every country. I dream that I will make a difference in the community with teenage girls who struggle from the effects of sexual abuse. I have a world of dreams that I hope and plan to conquer. Just as you should and accomplish each every one of them! It's all in your control.
With that, I hope today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!!
Xoxo,
-TaylerMarie <3
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Motivation to Be
Some days I get this feeling of guilt because I have not written in a while and this is my baby. I use to be a faithful writer. Everyday I would have a lesson of my life or life in general and I would try and have this positive outlook for that situation that was focused. But I lost motivation and the drive to want to continue writing. I started the rough draft to a book that I thought I could be easily manifested and turns out life is busy. I mean trying to balance college, social life, homework, work, and my sanity is all to crazy.
But recently I have been motivated to almost start at the beginning. Give a different view through the different person I am today. Last night I watched a video that was posted on my Facebook and this girl experienced sexual abuse, and that lead her down a path of self-destruction. And it was very heart-breaking to even watch. I mean I experienced almost the same situation and I had my "rebel" and "depressed" moments, but I never had the 'side-effects' that she had. And that made me really think about what I had been through. I thought about how I felt after I got the outcome that was needed from my situation and what my mental stability was and still is. I took the "coming out" really hard. Telling my mom and my family and my sisters what had happen was the hardest thing I have ever encountered. It was harder than moving 600 miles away from my mom, it was harder than any class I have had so far in college, it was harder than leaving the most important people in my life, so that I could accomplish my dreams. It was seriously the hardest thing I have ever had to do. And I did go into a deep depression and then my depression turn to anger. Anger that was directed at the wrong people in my life. They were being effected by out-lashes that were totally unnecessary. I can remember yelling at someone for little things. For example, if they decided that they wanted to sit by me while they were eating I would ask them, "What the hell do you think you are doing sitting next me while you're eating?" and I would cry instantaneously (and still to this day happens) if someone would clean their teeth. They suck the food or whatever it may be out of their teeth and it makes me cry. I don't cry because it makes me sad, I cry because it makes me angry. There is this switch that goes off in my mind that makes me so furious and irritated that I cry. I have to get up or away from whoever is doing that and calm myself down. In the beginning I didn't know why, and then I knew that it was a side-effect and something I have to work through and handle everyday of my life. And I realized that I did have after effects from my abuse just like the girl from the video. They were just different than hers.
Her and I did have one affect that were similar and that was confidence. Confidence in our appearance. She became bulimic because she thought that what people told her was true, especially the statement "you're fat". Though I did not become bulimic, I did have self-esteem issues. I started wearing more make-up, dressed more provocatively, and I would complain about every aspect of my appearance. I hated how 'chunky' my cheeks were, how big my nose was, how small my lips were, how little my eyes were, how un-perfect my skin was, how little my thighs, calves, and ass were. I mean I criticized every itch of my body. And that put me in a place that today I wish to never go back to. I had rebuild my confidence from the ground up. I got a job, I started showing interest in guys, and doing those things really helped rebuild me and my personality. I felt beautiful to have random costumers, and co-workers tell me that I was gorgeous and that they wish that had my eyes and that they wish they were thin like me and still have a 'curve' to their figure. I fell in love with that fact that I had the ability to make boys/men turn their heads. That I could affect them. I caught myself looking in the mirror longer than normal and I found myself feeling real genuine confidence in all that I was. I loved my personality and I learned to love my entire body. And I realized that if I hadn't experienced that abuse, I would not be the strong, and self-confident person that I am today. I accepted the quote/statement "everything happens for a reason".
Trauma comes differently in everyone's life. It could be different types of abuse: sexual, physical, and or emtional. It could be a car accident, doing something accidentally that changes your whole life, it could be fighting war, in reality and in your mind. By mind I mean mental issues: depression, schizophrenia, OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) etc. It could be many things, and that is one of the hardest, or the hardest thing you will ever have to encounter and get over. Life is the most unexpected, and the most rewarding experience that any human can ever encounter. It is worth it. Every moment, every mistake, every doubt, every regret, is worth the life you can make if you try and have a positive outlook on each and every know-how.
With that said, I hope that today was better than yesterday, and that tomorrow is better than today! <3
Xoxo,
TaylerMarie
But recently I have been motivated to almost start at the beginning. Give a different view through the different person I am today. Last night I watched a video that was posted on my Facebook and this girl experienced sexual abuse, and that lead her down a path of self-destruction. And it was very heart-breaking to even watch. I mean I experienced almost the same situation and I had my "rebel" and "depressed" moments, but I never had the 'side-effects' that she had. And that made me really think about what I had been through. I thought about how I felt after I got the outcome that was needed from my situation and what my mental stability was and still is. I took the "coming out" really hard. Telling my mom and my family and my sisters what had happen was the hardest thing I have ever encountered. It was harder than moving 600 miles away from my mom, it was harder than any class I have had so far in college, it was harder than leaving the most important people in my life, so that I could accomplish my dreams. It was seriously the hardest thing I have ever had to do. And I did go into a deep depression and then my depression turn to anger. Anger that was directed at the wrong people in my life. They were being effected by out-lashes that were totally unnecessary. I can remember yelling at someone for little things. For example, if they decided that they wanted to sit by me while they were eating I would ask them, "What the hell do you think you are doing sitting next me while you're eating?" and I would cry instantaneously (and still to this day happens) if someone would clean their teeth. They suck the food or whatever it may be out of their teeth and it makes me cry. I don't cry because it makes me sad, I cry because it makes me angry. There is this switch that goes off in my mind that makes me so furious and irritated that I cry. I have to get up or away from whoever is doing that and calm myself down. In the beginning I didn't know why, and then I knew that it was a side-effect and something I have to work through and handle everyday of my life. And I realized that I did have after effects from my abuse just like the girl from the video. They were just different than hers.
Her and I did have one affect that were similar and that was confidence. Confidence in our appearance. She became bulimic because she thought that what people told her was true, especially the statement "you're fat". Though I did not become bulimic, I did have self-esteem issues. I started wearing more make-up, dressed more provocatively, and I would complain about every aspect of my appearance. I hated how 'chunky' my cheeks were, how big my nose was, how small my lips were, how little my eyes were, how un-perfect my skin was, how little my thighs, calves, and ass were. I mean I criticized every itch of my body. And that put me in a place that today I wish to never go back to. I had rebuild my confidence from the ground up. I got a job, I started showing interest in guys, and doing those things really helped rebuild me and my personality. I felt beautiful to have random costumers, and co-workers tell me that I was gorgeous and that they wish that had my eyes and that they wish they were thin like me and still have a 'curve' to their figure. I fell in love with that fact that I had the ability to make boys/men turn their heads. That I could affect them. I caught myself looking in the mirror longer than normal and I found myself feeling real genuine confidence in all that I was. I loved my personality and I learned to love my entire body. And I realized that if I hadn't experienced that abuse, I would not be the strong, and self-confident person that I am today. I accepted the quote/statement "everything happens for a reason".
Trauma comes differently in everyone's life. It could be different types of abuse: sexual, physical, and or emtional. It could be a car accident, doing something accidentally that changes your whole life, it could be fighting war, in reality and in your mind. By mind I mean mental issues: depression, schizophrenia, OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) etc. It could be many things, and that is one of the hardest, or the hardest thing you will ever have to encounter and get over. Life is the most unexpected, and the most rewarding experience that any human can ever encounter. It is worth it. Every moment, every mistake, every doubt, every regret, is worth the life you can make if you try and have a positive outlook on each and every know-how.
With that said, I hope that today was better than yesterday, and that tomorrow is better than today! <3
Xoxo,
TaylerMarie
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Internal Change
Things happen in life. You live and you learn. But when you are in the mix of it all you don't see the outcome.
Change is all around us. Making us who we are as people. We change every single day. We discover things about ourselves that we didn't know yesterday.
Being here, living in a new place, with new people is changing me and who I thought I was back home. I am having fun, and I love it here, but the change is scaring. It is also exhilarating. The difficulty in it all is accepting those changes.
How can you live your life a certain way for so long, and when you discover new things about yourself, and life, just accept it? It's hard. It is easier said than done. I think we all have moments in our lives where we really just have an eye opener. Something that literally changes your life. Whether it is with people you meet, or an experience you tried for the first time, it can make the difference.
I am having a life change. I am having a hard time accepting certain things, but I am gratefully and selfishly accepting the things that are "acceptable", "beneficial", "valuable". It will never be easy accepting the troublesome you are faced with.
I usually have something philosophical, and promising to say. To encourage you. To try and make everything better, or more easy if you are experiencing a similar situation, but let's get real here, shit happens. I am writing and more than 20 different countries are reading, so lets be honest and say it how it is. Shit that you don't want to happen, will happen. You won't want to accept it, but you have to do it. You have to accept it, so that you can be happy. Because if you are not internally happy with your self, your life will be miserable.
The actions that we have to take to complete the change that is challenging will be the most important steps you take as a person.
So with that said, I hope today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!
Xoxo,
Love always,
TaylerMarie <3
Change is all around us. Making us who we are as people. We change every single day. We discover things about ourselves that we didn't know yesterday.
Being here, living in a new place, with new people is changing me and who I thought I was back home. I am having fun, and I love it here, but the change is scaring. It is also exhilarating. The difficulty in it all is accepting those changes.
How can you live your life a certain way for so long, and when you discover new things about yourself, and life, just accept it? It's hard. It is easier said than done. I think we all have moments in our lives where we really just have an eye opener. Something that literally changes your life. Whether it is with people you meet, or an experience you tried for the first time, it can make the difference.
I am having a life change. I am having a hard time accepting certain things, but I am gratefully and selfishly accepting the things that are "acceptable", "beneficial", "valuable". It will never be easy accepting the troublesome you are faced with.
I usually have something philosophical, and promising to say. To encourage you. To try and make everything better, or more easy if you are experiencing a similar situation, but let's get real here, shit happens. I am writing and more than 20 different countries are reading, so lets be honest and say it how it is. Shit that you don't want to happen, will happen. You won't want to accept it, but you have to do it. You have to accept it, so that you can be happy. Because if you are not internally happy with your self, your life will be miserable.
The actions that we have to take to complete the change that is challenging will be the most important steps you take as a person.
So with that said, I hope today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!
Xoxo,
Love always,
TaylerMarie <3
Friday, November 15, 2013
New Journey
Lately I have not been writing as much as I want, but that is because I am a working girl now!
I have to earn money to pay for the things I need for college, and for all the things I want to do before I go! Part of being an adult.
But I have also stopped writing because I have been contemplating on whether or not I should print all my blogs, organized, do my writing magic, and put it into a book. And with my time, and thoughtful consideration, I have taken on this challenge.
The challenge of writing, the challenge of giving raw emotion, and the truth behind me and my past, present, and what I want for the future!
I have notice that I have lost some followers because my lack of writing, but know that I am not done. This is only the beginning. Please be patient and supportive of my decision! I have no idea what I am doing, or how to start! But I am taking that challenge.
If you any, and I seriously mean this, if ANY of you have any advice please let me know! This a new journey! It's going to take a while, so I promise you all that I will update you when something happens!
I thank each and every one of you for your loyal support, and dedication when it comes to my blogs! I love you all so very much!
I never thought I could be so blessed to have my words, and stories, and advice be heard in more than twenty countries! Truly I am grateful!
Xoxo
Love always,
TaylerMarie <3
Email me: bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
I have to earn money to pay for the things I need for college, and for all the things I want to do before I go! Part of being an adult.
But I have also stopped writing because I have been contemplating on whether or not I should print all my blogs, organized, do my writing magic, and put it into a book. And with my time, and thoughtful consideration, I have taken on this challenge.
The challenge of writing, the challenge of giving raw emotion, and the truth behind me and my past, present, and what I want for the future!
I have notice that I have lost some followers because my lack of writing, but know that I am not done. This is only the beginning. Please be patient and supportive of my decision! I have no idea what I am doing, or how to start! But I am taking that challenge.
If you any, and I seriously mean this, if ANY of you have any advice please let me know! This a new journey! It's going to take a while, so I promise you all that I will update you when something happens!
I thank each and every one of you for your loyal support, and dedication when it comes to my blogs! I love you all so very much!
I never thought I could be so blessed to have my words, and stories, and advice be heard in more than twenty countries! Truly I am grateful!
Xoxo
Love always,
TaylerMarie <3
Email me: bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
Monday, October 21, 2013
Difficulty
Difficulty comes at a price. That price is your emotions, and the positive energy that is within your soul! It seems like it is just stripped away from you. And its our job is to find it, fix it, and move on. But its not as easy as 123 or ABC, it's more complex than that!
The first step that is hard, is finding it. That part is perplex. Being lost, is an unbearable feeling! We don't know who we are, what to do, or why our minds are so dark. Maybe we lost our memory of it, or its because of our memory that we are so lost, and dark. When we are in this stage all we can focus on is the pessimistic energy that surrounds us, so to find us, we have to search within us, and find our light, our good energy, and try to run toward it.
When we find that light, and that energy, we have to move to the next stage, which is the hardest. We have to fix us. So what does that mean? It means that we have to know that whatever the situation or problem is, its not our fault. And we have to believe it with every fiber in our bodies, in our minds, and in our souls. When we know that, the heavy weight is lifted a little bit. It takes time to reach down and pick ourselves up, but use the good around you to help. Use the strength, the determination, the devotion, and the tenacity to stand tall, and take control of your life!
Once we have completed these two steps we can complete the process of healing. We can move on. We may always have the memories, but the forgiveness and strength we contain, can help us preserve anything life throws our way!
With that I hope today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!
XOXO!
Love always,
TaylerMarie <3
Email me anytime!
Monday, September 30, 2013
I'm back!
I'M BACK!! Hello world! Hope all is well with everyone. I want to give an update about my life! The last time I blogged I talked about college, and how I reapplied and was hoping, and praying that I get accepted! Well, with hard work, and a great personal statement, I have been accepted to Humboldt State University!! I have also been busy and haven't had time to write because I have a job now. My very first ever job! It's at a fast food place here in my little town.
Life gives us complications, diversity in our way of life, and it gives us attitude. They way we want to perceive and accept those ways is up to us. If we always see the negative, how will we ever have the positive brought into our lives?? I know that it won't always be unicorns and rainbows, but hell, if we don't think we are going to see that at the end of the tunnel where does that leave us mentally? It leaves us depressed, and feeling "unwanted". Sometimes we need to look at ourselves from the outside in, to overcome our hardships.
I have a hard time every now & again. I'm not saying that anyone has it perfect. We have all been to hell in back I'm sure. It's not fun. For a lack of better words, sometimes the roses smell like shit. But we have to realize that just down the road a way there is a field of wildflowers and they smell blissfully well, and give you the strength to do whatever trials come your way!
Having a life with negativity is hard. Especially if you're a survivor! I'm just strarting on this whole "adult hood" and so I don't have the means to move out on my own. Though at times I wish I was so I could have quietness or peace. But we have this life and we live for right now not yesterday, and we prepare for tomorrow! Be grateful for everything wonderful!
I'm so glad to be back, and impacting the world! Hope everyone enjoyed, and I promise there will be more!
I hope today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!!
Love always,
TaylerMarie!! <3
Email me: bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
Saturday, August 24, 2013
Hope for the Change!
I see we have some new countries to welcome, so welcome!!!! Hope you enjoy the inspiring words!
I know I have been M.I.A for a while now! But a lot has happened! I have reapplied to college at Humboldt State University! I really am praying and hoping that I get accepted. To be honest my grades, SAT, ACT scores are not the best! Though I feel with the time I have had off I have learned my lesson, and I KNOW that I can do so much better in college, and I will be successful!
I have been doing research for weeks now! Looking at my options and what I can do to get accepted! I have really just been focused on my personal statement, and really making sure it is perfected and to the TEE! I have so much riding on this! My whole life. I didn't get the opportunity this fall semester because of some personal issues, and now I have the opportunity! I am really praying that I get accepted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have fought so hard for this. I deserve this. I have persevered, pushed, and over came so much pain, and emotional agony! I know that if this happens, everything in my life will be changed. I will be able to broaden my horizons with an education.
I want to be able to keep doing what I am doing here online, but also be able to help others in the real world. Right now I am not able to do that. I try, by giving out words and advice as to what I think is correct based off my own experiences, and emotions, but sometimes I don't know how to respond to other's stories or issues. I need to be able to be ready, and confident in everything that I am going to say. I don't ever want to let others down, but sometimes I really do not know! That is why college is the best option.
Anyone with ambition, tenacity, determination, and love within their soul can truly accomplish anything, and that is what I am certain of! Like one of my favorite philosophers has said, "Be the change you want to see in the world"! That is what I am trying to live for. That is what has inspired the blog name, and my motivation to try and make a change.
I want to be able to educate the world on the abuse children, teens, and even adults are experiencing everyday, and not knowing or being able to navigate the situation. I always say to speak up, tell the truth because it will help you in the end, but that fear you carry within, is so much more dominant than the confidence you think it takes to say something. But know that in the end you will be free, and be able to chase all your dreams and aspirations.
I hope you all have been enjoying life, and the new school year!
With that, I hope today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!
Xoxo
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Email me at bloggergirltayler@gmail.com if you have any question, comments, or concerns. I am always checking my email. Xoxo
I know I have been M.I.A for a while now! But a lot has happened! I have reapplied to college at Humboldt State University! I really am praying and hoping that I get accepted. To be honest my grades, SAT, ACT scores are not the best! Though I feel with the time I have had off I have learned my lesson, and I KNOW that I can do so much better in college, and I will be successful!
I have been doing research for weeks now! Looking at my options and what I can do to get accepted! I have really just been focused on my personal statement, and really making sure it is perfected and to the TEE! I have so much riding on this! My whole life. I didn't get the opportunity this fall semester because of some personal issues, and now I have the opportunity! I am really praying that I get accepted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have fought so hard for this. I deserve this. I have persevered, pushed, and over came so much pain, and emotional agony! I know that if this happens, everything in my life will be changed. I will be able to broaden my horizons with an education.
I want to be able to keep doing what I am doing here online, but also be able to help others in the real world. Right now I am not able to do that. I try, by giving out words and advice as to what I think is correct based off my own experiences, and emotions, but sometimes I don't know how to respond to other's stories or issues. I need to be able to be ready, and confident in everything that I am going to say. I don't ever want to let others down, but sometimes I really do not know! That is why college is the best option.
Anyone with ambition, tenacity, determination, and love within their soul can truly accomplish anything, and that is what I am certain of! Like one of my favorite philosophers has said, "Be the change you want to see in the world"! That is what I am trying to live for. That is what has inspired the blog name, and my motivation to try and make a change.
I want to be able to educate the world on the abuse children, teens, and even adults are experiencing everyday, and not knowing or being able to navigate the situation. I always say to speak up, tell the truth because it will help you in the end, but that fear you carry within, is so much more dominant than the confidence you think it takes to say something. But know that in the end you will be free, and be able to chase all your dreams and aspirations.
I hope you all have been enjoying life, and the new school year!
With that, I hope today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!
Xoxo
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Email me at bloggergirltayler@gmail.com if you have any question, comments, or concerns. I am always checking my email. Xoxo
Sunday, August 4, 2013
Love!
There is always going to be one thing that everyone is searching, wanting, needing in life, and that is love. Whether we want to admit it or not, feeling that exact feeling is the most incredible feeling.
I have not yet fell in love with someone, though I have liked someone with an improbable amount of liking. But I do this thing where I push them away. Or I say things that are unbelievable, and so random, that it makes me someone I know they don't want.
I have recently been working on that! Not pushing away, and working through all my insecurities. I have to let myself be vulnerable, and open, or I will never get the chance to feel, or experience love.
I know that every girl has that secret fairy-tale love that plays through their head. I know I do.
I dream of actually being me without judgement. I dream that I will be infatuated with everything my partner has to offer as a person. I dream that I will be able to be honest, and open with my life. I dream that I will never not want this person. I dream that we will fight for everything, no matter the situation. That no matter what our backgrounds are, no matter the baggage we will fight, because we know that there is potential and that there is love between us. I dream that I will have someone to encourage me on all job dreams and crazy projects, like being an advocate to teens that have been abused. I dream of having someone who can handle my moods because I am one of those teens that were abused.
I dream of a love that almost every girl wants, but this is the real world, not a movie. We have to learn that some people don't have the same courage to fight like you. That some people are more stubborn, or they don't have the same drive, and dedication. Life of love will always be complicated, even when you think you found the one.
I have seen basically everyone in my family fall in love, and fall right back out, or get their hearts broken! It wasn't easy for them. It was painful watching, and if you have ever seen that, you know you never want to feel that. I know that, that is also one of the main reason why I am so close guarded, and don't want to fall in love because I don't want to feel pain. It's not a feeling people want, but sometimes to grow as people, and keep our humanity, and moral ways intact we have to experience those feelings.
Love is something I am always seeking, but so desperately hiding from!
I think the saying, "There is fine line between love and hate," is a true statement. I see couples who are genuinely happy, but they fight like they hate that person with every fiber in their bodies. But that is the "baggage" when you love someone so much.
Love will be a wonderful, exciting, dangerous, nerve racking experience for anyone no matter how many time they have fallen in love. Let what is suppose to be, be!
If you are girl, or even a guy, that has been through a similar situation of abuse, dropping your guard won't be easy. I know exactly what that feels like! So here is my advice for you, become their friend before their partner. Get to know them, take your time, slowly open up, so that they can completely understand you.
I am doing that, taking it slow with whoever the person I may have potential feelings for, and work from there. If we just breath, know that we are strong independent human beings, then you can accomplish anything, even LOVE!
With that, I hope today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!
Xoxo <3
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Email me: bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
I have not yet fell in love with someone, though I have liked someone with an improbable amount of liking. But I do this thing where I push them away. Or I say things that are unbelievable, and so random, that it makes me someone I know they don't want.
I have recently been working on that! Not pushing away, and working through all my insecurities. I have to let myself be vulnerable, and open, or I will never get the chance to feel, or experience love.
I know that every girl has that secret fairy-tale love that plays through their head. I know I do.
I dream of actually being me without judgement. I dream that I will be infatuated with everything my partner has to offer as a person. I dream that I will be able to be honest, and open with my life. I dream that I will never not want this person. I dream that we will fight for everything, no matter the situation. That no matter what our backgrounds are, no matter the baggage we will fight, because we know that there is potential and that there is love between us. I dream that I will have someone to encourage me on all job dreams and crazy projects, like being an advocate to teens that have been abused. I dream of having someone who can handle my moods because I am one of those teens that were abused.
I dream of a love that almost every girl wants, but this is the real world, not a movie. We have to learn that some people don't have the same courage to fight like you. That some people are more stubborn, or they don't have the same drive, and dedication. Life of love will always be complicated, even when you think you found the one.
I have seen basically everyone in my family fall in love, and fall right back out, or get their hearts broken! It wasn't easy for them. It was painful watching, and if you have ever seen that, you know you never want to feel that. I know that, that is also one of the main reason why I am so close guarded, and don't want to fall in love because I don't want to feel pain. It's not a feeling people want, but sometimes to grow as people, and keep our humanity, and moral ways intact we have to experience those feelings.
Love is something I am always seeking, but so desperately hiding from!
I think the saying, "There is fine line between love and hate," is a true statement. I see couples who are genuinely happy, but they fight like they hate that person with every fiber in their bodies. But that is the "baggage" when you love someone so much.
Love will be a wonderful, exciting, dangerous, nerve racking experience for anyone no matter how many time they have fallen in love. Let what is suppose to be, be!
If you are girl, or even a guy, that has been through a similar situation of abuse, dropping your guard won't be easy. I know exactly what that feels like! So here is my advice for you, become their friend before their partner. Get to know them, take your time, slowly open up, so that they can completely understand you.
I am doing that, taking it slow with whoever the person I may have potential feelings for, and work from there. If we just breath, know that we are strong independent human beings, then you can accomplish anything, even LOVE!
With that, I hope today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!
Xoxo <3
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Email me: bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
Friday, August 2, 2013
Moving past Afflictions
Life gives you curve balls, at the most random times. You think things are going great, then you hear the back of your mind laughing hysterically at you, saying HA! JUST KIDDING! And you have to deal with the next negative situation your life decides you need.
Everyone says we go through all of these trials, and tribulations so that we can become wiser and smarter. I have even blogged about learning from our mistakes. Though, sometimes I wish I could have a life without real problems.Though we wouldn't be the person we are with in ourselves if we did not have those afflictions or that oppression. We try our hardest everyday to surround ourselves with great, positive energy. But I know about the days when you just can't take any of it, and you are stuck. Stuck in that miserable and dark mood. Those are our hardest days.
When I was going through my depression, and it was deep, and it was dark. I never had hope that I would get better. I did things that I am not proud of today, that's for sure. We take the simple way out of everything when we are in this state of mind. The simplicity of every situations seems like the best route.
But that isn't always the best. When I was at the end of my sophomore year, beginning year of my junior year, everything started to change. I started opening up to others, and things seemed better the more I talked about it. I was healing by expressing my thoughts, and my feelings about it. Then I decided to take a little visit to a wonderful young lady, and she helped me bring a wonderful club on campus to spread awareness of abuse to others at school!
And at one of our youth events, I heard a story that changed my life. I started a blog, and I am now a featured blogger for her website. Honestly, that is a dream, blessing, and more than anything I could have ever asked for. And behind everything that seems to go wrong in our day to day lives, we forget to look at the little things that make our lives have happiness and joy!
It's always hard to get past the negative things. I have been there, and it scares me when I do have my days. Because when I do have those days, I feel like I am back at square one, then I have to remember all my progress, and know that I am stronger than that, and I am stronger than my abuse, and I can make it through anything.
As can any one of you!
I just want everyone to have the life they deserve, and to have love and peace in their hearts, and in their souls.
With that, I hope today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!
Xoxo <3
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Email me: bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
But that isn't always the best. When I was at the end of my sophomore year, beginning year of my junior year, everything started to change. I started opening up to others, and things seemed better the more I talked about it. I was healing by expressing my thoughts, and my feelings about it. Then I decided to take a little visit to a wonderful young lady, and she helped me bring a wonderful club on campus to spread awareness of abuse to others at school!
And at one of our youth events, I heard a story that changed my life. I started a blog, and I am now a featured blogger for her website. Honestly, that is a dream, blessing, and more than anything I could have ever asked for. And behind everything that seems to go wrong in our day to day lives, we forget to look at the little things that make our lives have happiness and joy!
It's always hard to get past the negative things. I have been there, and it scares me when I do have my days. Because when I do have those days, I feel like I am back at square one, then I have to remember all my progress, and know that I am stronger than that, and I am stronger than my abuse, and I can make it through anything.
As can any one of you!
I just want everyone to have the life they deserve, and to have love and peace in their hearts, and in their souls.
With that, I hope today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!
Xoxo <3
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Email me: bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Adult World!
Recently I have been sick which was totally unexpected, and therefore I couldn't blog. I am sorry about that!
Though today I hope you enjoy it, just like the others.
I want to talk not about abuse today. I want to talk about the reality of growing up and facing the adult life.
Most kids out of high school, like myself, want to enjoy their last summer! Which of course I did, but the time is almost over and now I have to face the adult world.
I have to juggle college, a job, paying bills, and whatever else the world decides I need to handle.
Right now I want to say honestly, REALITY SUCKS! Though I know that with hard work, and dedication I can accomplish anything I put my mind to! I know that I will make it, and in just a few short years, I will be doing something I love!
I have may feel that I have to much to handle, but this is only the beginning. I watch my parents everyday, pay bills, go to work, put gas in the car, support our wants, and our needs, and buy things at random, but I also know that they do that because they work hard, and have learned how to manage and handle their money. I know that I will one day understand how to accomplish, and push through all my trails and tribulations in the real world by learning.
Everything we do in this life is important. How we handle our time, but also how we spend it. I know for those that are experiencing what I am for the first time, is that we can make it! We are strong willed people, we just have to set our minds on what we want and go for it. If ever there is a speed bump, take it slow, because soon your done, and you get over it. Continue your dreams, and achieve as much as you can!
Hope that everyone is doing well, and today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!
Xoxo
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Friday, July 26, 2013
Life...
We all have scary moments in our lives that leave us speechless. We are at a loss for words. Who do we tell? HOW do we tell?
Majority of the time, saying what ever the problem is, is what conflicts us the most, and it is the hardest thing to do. Though, lying never got anyone anywhere. "The truth will set you free!". The truth will always be the right path. It will bring you good karma.
I have always known that lying was bad. But an occasional white lie I thought would never hurt anyone. But then I looked at myself and my perception on what I want from another human being, and that is not a lie. I do not want someone to tell me a lie, even if it's a white little lie. I want the truth, always. I know that everyone else in this world wants the truth! Sometimes it may be hard to hear, but it will definitely benefit us in the end.
I kept a lie for a really, really long time. A lie that was endangering my life. If I didn't say some quickly, and fast enough, I could have risked it for others in my family of being a victim! That I would not be able to handle.
I will tell you the truth, as I always have. I lied to the cops the first time they came to my house. I told them everything was great and my life was perfect, and I had everything I wanted. I said anything that would get them off my case, and anything they would believe.
I suffered the consequence of bad karma when I lied.
Months went by. The cops came and went. Everything was "settled", at least I thought it was. Then "IT" happened again!
I knew that lying was a bad idea, and I suffered the consequence, but I know also that it wasn't my fault. I knew that it was God giving me a second chance to set things right so He could help me find the right path.
If something serious is happening in your life, don't be afraid to confide in someone, never know when their help will save your life, or make your day better!
Xoxo
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Email: bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
Majority of the time, saying what ever the problem is, is what conflicts us the most, and it is the hardest thing to do. Though, lying never got anyone anywhere. "The truth will set you free!". The truth will always be the right path. It will bring you good karma.
I have always known that lying was bad. But an occasional white lie I thought would never hurt anyone. But then I looked at myself and my perception on what I want from another human being, and that is not a lie. I do not want someone to tell me a lie, even if it's a white little lie. I want the truth, always. I know that everyone else in this world wants the truth! Sometimes it may be hard to hear, but it will definitely benefit us in the end.
I kept a lie for a really, really long time. A lie that was endangering my life. If I didn't say some quickly, and fast enough, I could have risked it for others in my family of being a victim! That I would not be able to handle.
I will tell you the truth, as I always have. I lied to the cops the first time they came to my house. I told them everything was great and my life was perfect, and I had everything I wanted. I said anything that would get them off my case, and anything they would believe.
I suffered the consequence of bad karma when I lied.
Months went by. The cops came and went. Everything was "settled", at least I thought it was. Then "IT" happened again!
I knew that lying was a bad idea, and I suffered the consequence, but I know also that it wasn't my fault. I knew that it was God giving me a second chance to set things right so He could help me find the right path.
If something serious is happening in your life, don't be afraid to confide in someone, never know when their help will save your life, or make your day better!
Xoxo
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Email: bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Handling Frustration?
Frustration can be really over bearing at times. Especially when you are a victim or survivor of abuse. Why? Because when you are living your life, day to day, then you have one off moment, and everything makes you irritable, all the old memories, or the current ones come rushing through your mind. You over think everything. The thing is, you are only making it worse. You do it, sometimes unintentional, and it just builds and builds to your mind, and to your body.
I don't know about most of you, but I know that I do not do well with confrontation, and situations that have so much negativity. I am a very sweet person, but I am human just like anyone else. I get angry. I get frustrated.
I now know how to handle those situations, but before, I felt like I had no control over my emotions, and how to handle them. So I talked to a professional. She was the sweetest lady. She asked me a series of questions, like, "What do you like to do for fun? What triggers you to get angry so quickly? Have you ever tried to handle your emotions? Try to calm yourself down?" and last, but not least, she asked, "Have you ever tried journaling whenever you get angry, or upset, or even when you are happy?" I answered all her questions honestly. And when I responded to her last question, that I did not journal, she was shocked. She also had a huge smile across her face. It was like she knew the solution to my problem. She stood up, walked over to a drawer, and handed me a spiraled notebook, and said "I know it's not a real 'journal' but it will do the trick for now." she continued and said, "For the next week I want to go home and journal. Whenever you feel frustrated, bothered, annoyed, upset, or HAPPY, write it down. Express it in your own words. This your place, your privacy, let how you really feel down on this paper, and when you come back tell me how it worked!"
Of course the next week I went back feeling a lot better than I did the week before. I continued to journal everyday, and when things started getting better, I noticed I would journal less. It really helped me. It let me get out all my true emotions. It let me, be ME! I could say all the things I couldn't to someone else. The anger got easier to control, because I knew that if I just breathed, and walked away, I could write it down. Say what I wanted to say and make peace with that.
There are other ways to try and handle your anger, you can work out, swim, dance, meditate, anything that releases that negative energy, do it!
I hope that this how connected to you, and that it has helped you in some way!
With love, Xoxo!
Love always,
TaylerMarie!
I don't know about most of you, but I know that I do not do well with confrontation, and situations that have so much negativity. I am a very sweet person, but I am human just like anyone else. I get angry. I get frustrated.
I now know how to handle those situations, but before, I felt like I had no control over my emotions, and how to handle them. So I talked to a professional. She was the sweetest lady. She asked me a series of questions, like, "What do you like to do for fun? What triggers you to get angry so quickly? Have you ever tried to handle your emotions? Try to calm yourself down?" and last, but not least, she asked, "Have you ever tried journaling whenever you get angry, or upset, or even when you are happy?" I answered all her questions honestly. And when I responded to her last question, that I did not journal, she was shocked. She also had a huge smile across her face. It was like she knew the solution to my problem. She stood up, walked over to a drawer, and handed me a spiraled notebook, and said "I know it's not a real 'journal' but it will do the trick for now." she continued and said, "For the next week I want to go home and journal. Whenever you feel frustrated, bothered, annoyed, upset, or HAPPY, write it down. Express it in your own words. This your place, your privacy, let how you really feel down on this paper, and when you come back tell me how it worked!"
Of course the next week I went back feeling a lot better than I did the week before. I continued to journal everyday, and when things started getting better, I noticed I would journal less. It really helped me. It let me get out all my true emotions. It let me, be ME! I could say all the things I couldn't to someone else. The anger got easier to control, because I knew that if I just breathed, and walked away, I could write it down. Say what I wanted to say and make peace with that.
There are other ways to try and handle your anger, you can work out, swim, dance, meditate, anything that releases that negative energy, do it!
I hope that this how connected to you, and that it has helped you in some way!
With love, Xoxo!
Love always,
TaylerMarie!
Monday, July 15, 2013
Decisions!
Decisions are hard to make sometimes. The difficulty is more endowed when you have to make decisions about people. Who should you take places? Are they telling the truth? Am I making the right decisions with this person? Everything we do has a consequence, whether it's negative or positive. We just pray and hope that the outcome is positive. So how do we make these decisions? I have no clue. I am still learning, though I'm sure people that have already lived a long life are still trying to figure it out as well.
Decisions that we dwell upon will never be easy. But we have to take a chance, a leap of faith, and just hope the everyone is understanding, and everyone is supporting with whatever we decide.
I know I had to make a very, very crucial decision once in my life. It wasn't easy, but I had to take care of myself, and make sure that I was safe in the end. That I, in the end, could find myself at peace and true happiness. That I was surrounded with positive energy. I was letting my abuse continue, and I wasn't happy with my life. Though I was absolutely petrified by the idea of telling someone the truth. Sexual and emotional abuse, any type of abuse for that matter, is very hard to handle, especially when you are really young, and growing.
These situations that we are put in, where we have to make decisions, are in our lives for a reason. TO LEARN! To grow from the trails and tribulations that we are put through because of the outcome of our decisions. We all have so much courage, strength, and tenacity that we carry within ourselves, it helps us move forward with our lives, and helps us gain the knowledge that we need to survive in this cruel, real world. Without the difficulty of making these decisions we would have nothing in our lives.
I know that you may think that it is easier said than done, and it is, but know that the courage that you have within yourself, is strong enough to make any decision no matter the outcome!
We live in a world where we don't know the future, we don't know how things are going to be shaped. Therefore, we have to live now. Trust our gut feelings, and make the decisions! Will we distinguish everything that happens in our lives.
So now I tell you to just believe in yourself, and do what you have to do for you, because in the end that is what is most important!
INSPIRED QUOTE:
“If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another.
The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.
If this sounds too mystical, refer again to the body. Every significant vital sign- body temperature, heart rate, oxygen consumption, hormone level, brain activity, and so on- alters the moment you decide to do anything… decisions are signals telling your body, mind, and environment to move in a certain direction.”
― Deepak Chopra, The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life
The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience.
If this sounds too mystical, refer again to the body. Every significant vital sign- body temperature, heart rate, oxygen consumption, hormone level, brain activity, and so on- alters the moment you decide to do anything… decisions are signals telling your body, mind, and environment to move in a certain direction.”
― Deepak Chopra, The Book of Secrets: Unlocking the Hidden Dimensions of Your Life
You can get more inspiring quote on decisions at: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/tag/decision-making
I hope everyone is doing well in the world!
With lots of love! Xoxo
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Email me if you have any questions, or you just want to vent!
bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
Thursday, June 20, 2013
Adventures. They take you by surprise. The spontaneous and exhilarating feeling you get, makes your adrenaline rush, are the best times in your life.
No matter what you are doing, if it seems adventurous to you, then you are living. Isn't that what we are suppose to be doing while we are here on earth for this short while? Living our lives to the fullest? Taking chances? Or risk? I'm not talking breaking the law, I mean seeing the world, sky diving, driving a race car, attending concerts, fall in and out of love, failing at something, but trying to accomplish it again and again. Life is full of stressful things, and it's hard, and it is over bearing at times, but the fact that you are here on earth, alive, take a moment and be spontaneous!!
I want everyone to cherish the good things that they have in their lives. Take the positive things that you have encountered, and use that to hold on to your hope, and the negative that is happening in your life, use it as motivation. Motivation to succeed and to prove everyone wrong. Then show the world your spontaneous adventures, with your head held high, and a beautiful, radiant smile. You are worth ALL the spontaneous in the world!
It's summer, so enjoy your vacation with spontaneous adventures, and with your friends and family.
Until next time,
Love always,
TaylerMarie <3
Email @: bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
No matter what you are doing, if it seems adventurous to you, then you are living. Isn't that what we are suppose to be doing while we are here on earth for this short while? Living our lives to the fullest? Taking chances? Or risk? I'm not talking breaking the law, I mean seeing the world, sky diving, driving a race car, attending concerts, fall in and out of love, failing at something, but trying to accomplish it again and again. Life is full of stressful things, and it's hard, and it is over bearing at times, but the fact that you are here on earth, alive, take a moment and be spontaneous!!
I want everyone to cherish the good things that they have in their lives. Take the positive things that you have encountered, and use that to hold on to your hope, and the negative that is happening in your life, use it as motivation. Motivation to succeed and to prove everyone wrong. Then show the world your spontaneous adventures, with your head held high, and a beautiful, radiant smile. You are worth ALL the spontaneous in the world!
It's summer, so enjoy your vacation with spontaneous adventures, and with your friends and family.
Until next time,
Love always,
TaylerMarie <3
Email @: bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
Monday, June 10, 2013
Sun burn/Tan (;
Nothing ever ceases to amaze me!
I am constantly seeing change in this world. Where there is negativity, there is always the positive outcome taken from the situation.
Take a sunburn for example. Your skin is burnt, and it hurts, but in the end you get a beautiful, and natural tan as your outcome, and you look glowing!
I take my experience, and treat it like a sun burn. It hurt, and it blistered a little, but with a little care, I am receiving a wonderful glowing tan. They never tell you that after that horrible sun burn, and you get that wonderful glow, that you gain confidence, and assurance that life will go on, and you will prosper and gain so much! I know I am learning more and more everyday.
I learned, that when you have a negative aspect on life, when you are trying to deal with life, and your home situation, life is hard, and you have no confidence, no glow. You don't want that. You don't deserve that. You deserve all the glow in the world. But trust me when I say the sunburn only last for a little while.
In your eyes, in your own perception of the situation, your thoughts are only negative. How can I move on from this? How can I change for the better, when I have nothing left to gain? When I feel nothing? When I have no hope left?
Listen to me, you have EVERYTHING to gain! Everything. You have your whole life. You go to college, meet new people, change your whole world because you're finally on your own! You get to have fun, and fall in and out of love. Be crazy, wild, outgoing, loving, trusting, all the things you didn't think you could be before.
You have everything gain. You can graduate, get a wonderful job, and a new home, and husband, start a family, and learn to feel all those wonderful feelings, the glowing tan, that's right beneath you. All of this should give you hope. Hope that you can make it out of this negative situation, and you can become something so wonderful in life. That you can make the best of your sun burn, and gain your glowing tan. Because you know what? You deserve it! That tan will suit you, and you will learn to have the confidence, and assurance I know you have buried deep with in your body, mind, and soul. You will be everything you set your mind too.
So just breath, and know everything will be okay!
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Email me @:
bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
I am constantly seeing change in this world. Where there is negativity, there is always the positive outcome taken from the situation.
Take a sunburn for example. Your skin is burnt, and it hurts, but in the end you get a beautiful, and natural tan as your outcome, and you look glowing!
I take my experience, and treat it like a sun burn. It hurt, and it blistered a little, but with a little care, I am receiving a wonderful glowing tan. They never tell you that after that horrible sun burn, and you get that wonderful glow, that you gain confidence, and assurance that life will go on, and you will prosper and gain so much! I know I am learning more and more everyday.
I learned, that when you have a negative aspect on life, when you are trying to deal with life, and your home situation, life is hard, and you have no confidence, no glow. You don't want that. You don't deserve that. You deserve all the glow in the world. But trust me when I say the sunburn only last for a little while.
In your eyes, in your own perception of the situation, your thoughts are only negative. How can I move on from this? How can I change for the better, when I have nothing left to gain? When I feel nothing? When I have no hope left?
Listen to me, you have EVERYTHING to gain! Everything. You have your whole life. You go to college, meet new people, change your whole world because you're finally on your own! You get to have fun, and fall in and out of love. Be crazy, wild, outgoing, loving, trusting, all the things you didn't think you could be before.
You have everything gain. You can graduate, get a wonderful job, and a new home, and husband, start a family, and learn to feel all those wonderful feelings, the glowing tan, that's right beneath you. All of this should give you hope. Hope that you can make it out of this negative situation, and you can become something so wonderful in life. That you can make the best of your sun burn, and gain your glowing tan. Because you know what? You deserve it! That tan will suit you, and you will learn to have the confidence, and assurance I know you have buried deep with in your body, mind, and soul. You will be everything you set your mind too.
So just breath, and know everything will be okay!
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Email me @:
bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Finding me....
I am thinking a lot tonight.
But when am I not thinking a lot?
I am trying to see things, that cannot yet be seen. It's a difficult vision, because it's blurry, and unclear. I wish I could see what is in store for me. What am I suppose to do in this world? What should I major in? Where should I move? Who should I trust? Will I graduate college? Will I ever get married, or fall in love? Will there ever be clear days where I don't over think my life, and the struggles I am facing?
I have always had the tenacity to move forward no matter what. I just wish sometimes, things would be more clear. But I don't get that. I get a mind that is always running, thinking, over analyzing, depicting every scenario.
I am always trying to think of new ways that could potentially make a difference in the world, though sometimes, I need to take time to look at myself, and how I can make a difference in my own life.
Two of my really good friends, one is actually a family member, are leaving away for college. They will be three and half hours away, and tonight they went shopping for their dorm things. I went along with them, and I realized that I don't know what I am going to do without them, or who I will be with out them. I guess that is all part of trying to find yourself.
Trying to find yourself is pretty difficult, and can be over bearing some days. I just want to be me, and I don't even know who that is. I don't think we ever find ourselves completely. Though we do come pretty close.
I know that I come off shy, and closed off, or in other people's eyes, rude, but I am not. That's my guard, and I don't know how to change it. I have let them down, but not for everyone.
Sharing my story to the world, to you, that a big chunk of my wall that is torn down, and that scares me everyday.
You know to be honest, I am a strange, weird, person, but I am also loving, caring, and strong willed. I am open about a lot of things once you get to know me, and that could shock you. I like to talk about everything. Everything is interesting. Everything has a story, or something behind it. Just like life.
I guess I just want to try and find me, and try and be that person to the best of my ability.
I hope everyone is doing well in the world. I hope everyone is enjoying their summer, and vacation. I know I am!
I love you all so much, thank you for being amazing supporters!
Love always,
TaylerMarie
bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
But when am I not thinking a lot?
I am trying to see things, that cannot yet be seen. It's a difficult vision, because it's blurry, and unclear. I wish I could see what is in store for me. What am I suppose to do in this world? What should I major in? Where should I move? Who should I trust? Will I graduate college? Will I ever get married, or fall in love? Will there ever be clear days where I don't over think my life, and the struggles I am facing?
I have always had the tenacity to move forward no matter what. I just wish sometimes, things would be more clear. But I don't get that. I get a mind that is always running, thinking, over analyzing, depicting every scenario.
I am always trying to think of new ways that could potentially make a difference in the world, though sometimes, I need to take time to look at myself, and how I can make a difference in my own life.
Two of my really good friends, one is actually a family member, are leaving away for college. They will be three and half hours away, and tonight they went shopping for their dorm things. I went along with them, and I realized that I don't know what I am going to do without them, or who I will be with out them. I guess that is all part of trying to find yourself.
Trying to find yourself is pretty difficult, and can be over bearing some days. I just want to be me, and I don't even know who that is. I don't think we ever find ourselves completely. Though we do come pretty close.
I know that I come off shy, and closed off, or in other people's eyes, rude, but I am not. That's my guard, and I don't know how to change it. I have let them down, but not for everyone.
Sharing my story to the world, to you, that a big chunk of my wall that is torn down, and that scares me everyday.
You know to be honest, I am a strange, weird, person, but I am also loving, caring, and strong willed. I am open about a lot of things once you get to know me, and that could shock you. I like to talk about everything. Everything is interesting. Everything has a story, or something behind it. Just like life.
I guess I just want to try and find me, and try and be that person to the best of my ability.
I hope everyone is doing well in the world. I hope everyone is enjoying their summer, and vacation. I know I am!
I love you all so much, thank you for being amazing supporters!
Love always,
TaylerMarie
bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
Saturday, June 1, 2013
Blissful Happenings!!
Hello world!! How are we doing? Hope all is well with everyone.
Recently I have had a ton of things happen in my life. I have had relaxation, and fun times. Got to spend time with friends, and learn things I never knew. I have received much need family time, and I have had some very weird and crazy dreams post graduation.
I have grown so much as person in the last couple of days. I think adulthood, and college are going to suit me well. Much better than high school. I have really been thinking about my future, and the person I am. I am very excited to start learning about all the things possible
I am excited for my life to begin. I know it will be scary at times, and things are going to be hard, but I have had worse I am certain of. I know that I will need guidance, and I will need advice to help me through my life. But that is life. We live and learn, with or with out guidance. I have had the absolute pleasure to have had that early on in my life. I am so thankful and blessed for everything in my life.
I have found my true friends, and I have started to find who I truly am on the inside. My confidence has gained so much, and I feel unbelievably happy and content with my life.
I think knowing that I am going to be my own person in this big world is the most fascinating thing ever. I know there will always be judgment, but this is a new way, and start on life.
I am thrilled to begin.
I am ecstatic to be quite honest.
This blog has given me so much hope, and has been a huge part in gaining my inner confidence. I have heard many stories from others, and I have received so much wisdom from them. Their words are kind, beautiful, and angelic. They give me confidence as well. That I can accomplish anything in the world that I set my mind to.
So I thank you all again for given me the confidence I need to continue to be the strong, confident girl.
My abuse has not only educated me on who I am, but it has educated me on what I am suppose to do in this world. It has educated others as well, and from what others tell me, inspire. Inspiration to tell their stories and to start helping them selves. That give me the greatest joy in the world.
I am loving the inboxes and I hope that I continue to receive more emails from others.
bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
So today remember, HOPE, LOVE, and DETERMINATION can give you great happiness, and wonderful satisfaction! I hope that your story can inspire others, the way mine has hopefully inspired you.
Enjoy the summer, be safe, and have fun!
Love always,
TaylerMarie <3
Recently I have had a ton of things happen in my life. I have had relaxation, and fun times. Got to spend time with friends, and learn things I never knew. I have received much need family time, and I have had some very weird and crazy dreams post graduation.
I have grown so much as person in the last couple of days. I think adulthood, and college are going to suit me well. Much better than high school. I have really been thinking about my future, and the person I am. I am very excited to start learning about all the things possible
I am excited for my life to begin. I know it will be scary at times, and things are going to be hard, but I have had worse I am certain of. I know that I will need guidance, and I will need advice to help me through my life. But that is life. We live and learn, with or with out guidance. I have had the absolute pleasure to have had that early on in my life. I am so thankful and blessed for everything in my life.
I have found my true friends, and I have started to find who I truly am on the inside. My confidence has gained so much, and I feel unbelievably happy and content with my life.
I think knowing that I am going to be my own person in this big world is the most fascinating thing ever. I know there will always be judgment, but this is a new way, and start on life.
I am thrilled to begin.
I am ecstatic to be quite honest.
This blog has given me so much hope, and has been a huge part in gaining my inner confidence. I have heard many stories from others, and I have received so much wisdom from them. Their words are kind, beautiful, and angelic. They give me confidence as well. That I can accomplish anything in the world that I set my mind to.
So I thank you all again for given me the confidence I need to continue to be the strong, confident girl.
My abuse has not only educated me on who I am, but it has educated me on what I am suppose to do in this world. It has educated others as well, and from what others tell me, inspire. Inspiration to tell their stories and to start helping them selves. That give me the greatest joy in the world.
I am loving the inboxes and I hope that I continue to receive more emails from others.
bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
So today remember, HOPE, LOVE, and DETERMINATION can give you great happiness, and wonderful satisfaction! I hope that your story can inspire others, the way mine has hopefully inspired you.
Enjoy the summer, be safe, and have fun!
Love always,
TaylerMarie <3
Thursday, May 30, 2013
Let's Clear it Up!
So recently I have found that there has been a misunderstanding for my blog. I do my blog for ADVACACY!! To share my story to others, and spread the awareness. To give others hope that they can move on. To show some insight on someone else's story, and life.
I don't think people take into consideration that this is the hardest thing for me to do. Talking about my abuse. It is NOT easy. It is also not something I am using to "gain" something from it. And who ever thinks that I am using it in a personal greedy way, then that's your opinion, but how dare you think that. This is my personal life, and I am taking risk and limits, to help spread awareness about sexual, and emotional abuse. I have a difficult time sharing, but I do it for a better cause and reason.
I never expected it grow to six other countries, and to have our local newspaper do a interview. I got that interview because I APPLIED to a scholarship, and I won! They wanted to know my story.
And if for some reason that article has upset you in any way then I'm sorry for you, not the article. I am not sorry for sharing my story. My story is helping people around the world. My story, is helping grown adults, children, teens, ect... and if are upset, jealous, angry, or any other negative emotion, about my blog, all you have to do it not read it. This is a place for positive reinforcement from negative situations.
With that, I hope you all continue to read, and support me. I hope that I am helping all of you in some way or another. I will always be here for questions, comments, or concerns. All you have to do is email me at: bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
Thank you everyone for your patients, and understanding. I will be writing later on tonight! I love you all.
Love always,
TaylerMarie
I don't think people take into consideration that this is the hardest thing for me to do. Talking about my abuse. It is NOT easy. It is also not something I am using to "gain" something from it. And who ever thinks that I am using it in a personal greedy way, then that's your opinion, but how dare you think that. This is my personal life, and I am taking risk and limits, to help spread awareness about sexual, and emotional abuse. I have a difficult time sharing, but I do it for a better cause and reason.
I never expected it grow to six other countries, and to have our local newspaper do a interview. I got that interview because I APPLIED to a scholarship, and I won! They wanted to know my story.
And if for some reason that article has upset you in any way then I'm sorry for you, not the article. I am not sorry for sharing my story. My story is helping people around the world. My story, is helping grown adults, children, teens, ect... and if are upset, jealous, angry, or any other negative emotion, about my blog, all you have to do it not read it. This is a place for positive reinforcement from negative situations.
With that, I hope you all continue to read, and support me. I hope that I am helping all of you in some way or another. I will always be here for questions, comments, or concerns. All you have to do is email me at: bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
Thank you everyone for your patients, and understanding. I will be writing later on tonight! I love you all.
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Monday, May 27, 2013
Post Grad
Graduation was here and now it's gone. Every moment, every step, every word, seemed so unreal. Like the moment was not happening. But it has, and I am very happy!
Life has gone by so fast. With many ups and downs. I am not ashamed, or regretful for what my life has held so far. I have learned so much in the short four years of high school.
And today, Monday, May 27, 2013, am so amazed to say that I made the front page of the Porterville Recorder for overcoming, and preserving my obstacles. I thank everyone who reads everyday and continues to support and love my blog.
I know I don't blog everyday, but I hope that when I do blog, everyone enjoys what they read!
I hope everyone was safe after graduation. If you went to parties, or out with friends you were careful and attentive to your surroundings. I know I was careful, but had tons of fun!
The senior class this generation will do amazing things, I can feel it! Your dreams may start small, with high expectations, but with determination, that small dream will be huge, and you will grow and accumulate expectations you did not think you had!
I am happy to have graduated with people that I did, but I am happier to start my life, in college, and as an adult.
I hope that my determination can help my small dream with expectations, become a reality!!
Thank you again everyone!!!
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Email me with anything: Questions, concerns, comments, ect... : bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
Life has gone by so fast. With many ups and downs. I am not ashamed, or regretful for what my life has held so far. I have learned so much in the short four years of high school.
And today, Monday, May 27, 2013, am so amazed to say that I made the front page of the Porterville Recorder for overcoming, and preserving my obstacles. I thank everyone who reads everyday and continues to support and love my blog.
I know I don't blog everyday, but I hope that when I do blog, everyone enjoys what they read!
I hope everyone was safe after graduation. If you went to parties, or out with friends you were careful and attentive to your surroundings. I know I was careful, but had tons of fun!
The senior class this generation will do amazing things, I can feel it! Your dreams may start small, with high expectations, but with determination, that small dream will be huge, and you will grow and accumulate expectations you did not think you had!
I am happy to have graduated with people that I did, but I am happier to start my life, in college, and as an adult.
I hope that my determination can help my small dream with expectations, become a reality!!
Thank you again everyone!!!
Love always,
TaylerMarie
Email me with anything: Questions, concerns, comments, ect... : bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Graduation
Graduation is fast approaching, and it is an amazing feeling. Though leaving does have bitter-sweet taste, I am ready for the next chapter in my life.
I am honestly scared for what the future holds, but I know with good faith, hard determination, and willingness to succeed, I can make my journey worth while.
I have had a lot of people in my high school career that have impacted me in so many ways. For the good, and for the bad! It's so amazing to have people in your life who you can learn from, no matter the situation.
Because of my expierence in high school, I learned that I can face anything with respect, honesty, and responsibility! I have had so many memories, and situations in my high school time, and I am so happy they happened. I am such a better person because of them.
I made the biggest decision of my life because of high school.
I sit here writng to people around the world, because of high school.
I have learned love, and heartbreak, because of high school.
I found my true friends, and my fake friends, because of high school.
The majority of my life has been shaped because of high school. Though our life journey is not over, though our high school one is, and with that said, I feel so unbelievably blessed, and lucky to have gone to my high school, and met the people that I met, and to be graduating with the class of 2013!
I wish everyone luck on their endevors in life, whether it's college, or working, may you live a long, happy life. Know that I am always going to keep you in my hearts, because with out you all, I don't know where I would be today, or how life would be.
So thank you, and be safe at grad-nite, and let's get ready to graduate with all our love, and excitement!!!
Love always,
TaylerMarie
bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
I am honestly scared for what the future holds, but I know with good faith, hard determination, and willingness to succeed, I can make my journey worth while.
I have had a lot of people in my high school career that have impacted me in so many ways. For the good, and for the bad! It's so amazing to have people in your life who you can learn from, no matter the situation.
Because of my expierence in high school, I learned that I can face anything with respect, honesty, and responsibility! I have had so many memories, and situations in my high school time, and I am so happy they happened. I am such a better person because of them.
I made the biggest decision of my life because of high school.
I sit here writng to people around the world, because of high school.
I have learned love, and heartbreak, because of high school.
I found my true friends, and my fake friends, because of high school.
The majority of my life has been shaped because of high school. Though our life journey is not over, though our high school one is, and with that said, I feel so unbelievably blessed, and lucky to have gone to my high school, and met the people that I met, and to be graduating with the class of 2013!
I wish everyone luck on their endevors in life, whether it's college, or working, may you live a long, happy life. Know that I am always going to keep you in my hearts, because with out you all, I don't know where I would be today, or how life would be.
So thank you, and be safe at grad-nite, and let's get ready to graduate with all our love, and excitement!!!
Love always,
TaylerMarie
bloggergirltayler@gmail.com
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