I have not been able to write in what seems like forever. But don't I say that every time I write these days?
I feel like we are so consumed within our every day, day-to-day lives, that we forget to take moments and appreciate what we have. To take the time out of our day to give back a little. Pay it forward, in some sort of way. We forget those moments. We get so caught up in what seems like the now but in reality we are missing out on the most extraordinary occasions and junctures. The extraordinary to be carefree, to be childish, to play, to get lost in ourselves and in others. We miss out on the extraordinary moments where you are free to let go and let loose where there is uncontrollable laughing until you cry, where your stomach is aching from the consumption of happiness. There needs to be more of that in life. Surrounding yourself within the negative energy of others should not be an option. Having good light and vibes is what's needed most in life. We often forget this because reality feels all to harsh. We create our own reality. We are the ones in control of what we think, how we feel, what we do within our souls, and our lives. Make that life, YOUR life, something so beautiful and full of light.
I know a while back I wrote how depression is one of the hardest ruts to dig yourself out of. That some days the consumption of darkness is so irreversible you cannot remember which way is up. But I went on to tell you that, that was okay, and that it takes time to really get over something that is so monumental and tragic. You will know when it is time. If you are trying and working at making your life better, there will come a day where you know you are stronger than anything in the world and you can survive the most cut throat of situations. You will find yourself laughing more, opening up, letting go of all the accentuation and stress that weighed you down before.
You will come to the realization that your life, no matter what had happen to you, abuse (metal, physical, emotional, or sexual), death, accident, what ever it may be, will always be in your control for the outcome. From the moment you wake up and stretch for the first time, until you go to bed and have your final thoughts of the day, you have control on how you feel and how you want to navigate all of those moments. I have experienced this first hand, and I have overcome it and finally realized none of it was my fault, and that if I want to better my life and my future that I have the control and that I have the option to be carefree and get lost in this blissful life.
Your mind becomes more clear. You begin to have hope. Hope for your dreams. Like my dreams. I dream I will be able to travel the world and gain more knowledge first hand of different cultures and experience life from a different view of the world. I dream that I will be the aspiring, determinate person I know I can be and help change lives. I dream that I will accomplish every goal I set my mind too. I dream that I will continue to be carefree, childish, silly, and fun, but know when I have to be serious. I dream that I will cherish each and every soul I come across from each and every country. I dream that I will make a difference in the community with teenage girls who struggle from the effects of sexual abuse. I have a world of dreams that I hope and plan to conquer. Just as you should and accomplish each every one of them! It's all in your control.
With that, I hope today is better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!!