Saturday, August 24, 2013

Hope for the Change!

I see we have some new countries to welcome, so welcome!!!! Hope you enjoy the inspiring words!

I know I have been M.I.A for a while now! But a lot has happened! I have reapplied to college at Humboldt State University! I really am praying and hoping that I get accepted. To be honest my grades, SAT, ACT scores are not the best! Though I feel with the time I have had off I have learned my lesson, and I KNOW that I can do so much better in college, and I will be successful!

I have been doing research for weeks now! Looking at my options and what I can do to get accepted! I have really just been focused on my personal statement, and really making sure it is perfected and to the TEE! I have so much riding on this! My whole life. I didn't get the opportunity this fall semester because of some personal issues, and now I have the opportunity! I am really praying that I get accepted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have fought so hard for this. I deserve this. I have persevered, pushed, and over came so much pain, and emotional agony! I know that if this happens, everything in my life will be changed. I will be able to broaden my horizons with  an education.

I want to be able to keep doing what I am doing here online, but also be able to help others in the real world. Right now I am not able to do that. I try, by giving out words and advice as to what I think is correct based off my own experiences, and emotions, but sometimes I don't know how to respond to other's stories or issues. I need to be able to be ready, and confident in everything that I am going to say. I don't ever want to let others down, but sometimes I really do not know! That is why college is the best option.

Anyone with ambition, tenacity, determination, and love within their soul can truly accomplish anything, and that is what I am certain of! Like one of my favorite philosophers has said, "Be the change you want to see in the world"! That is what I am trying to live for. That is what has inspired the blog name, and my motivation to try and make a change.

I want to be able to educate the world on the abuse children, teens, and even adults are experiencing everyday, and not knowing or being able to navigate the situation. I always say to speak up, tell the truth because it will help you in the end, but that fear you carry within, is so much more dominant than the confidence you think it takes to say something. But know that in the end you will be free, and be able to chase all your dreams and aspirations.

I hope you all have been enjoying life, and the new school year!

With that, I hope today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!

Love always,

Email me at  if you have any question, comments, or concerns. I am always checking my email. Xoxo

Sunday, August 4, 2013


There is always going to be one thing that everyone is searching, wanting, needing in life, and that is love. Whether we want to admit it or not, feeling that exact feeling is the most incredible feeling.

I have not yet fell in love with someone, though I have liked someone with an improbable amount of liking. But I do this thing where I push them away. Or I say things that are unbelievable, and so random, that it makes me someone I know they don't want.

I have recently been working on that! Not pushing away, and working through all my insecurities. I have to let myself be vulnerable, and open, or I will never get the chance to feel, or experience love.

I know that every girl has that secret fairy-tale love that plays through their head. I know I do.
I dream of actually being me without judgement. I dream that I will be infatuated with everything my partner has to offer as a person. I dream that I will be able to be honest, and open with my life. I dream that I will never not want this person. I dream that we will fight for everything, no matter the situation. That no matter what our backgrounds are, no matter the baggage we will fight, because we know that there is potential and that there is love between us. I dream that I will have someone to encourage me on all job dreams and crazy projects, like being an advocate to teens that have been abused. I dream of having someone who can handle my moods because I am one of those teens that were abused.
I dream of a love that almost every girl wants, but this is the real world, not a movie. We have to learn that some people don't have the same courage to fight like you. That some people are more stubborn, or they don't have the same drive, and dedication. Life of love will always be complicated, even when you think you found the one.

I have seen basically everyone in my family fall in love, and fall right back out, or get their hearts broken! It wasn't easy for them. It was painful watching, and if you have ever seen that, you know you never want to feel that. I know that, that is also one of the main reason why I am so close guarded, and don't want  to fall in love because I don't want to feel pain. It's not a feeling people want, but sometimes to grow as people, and keep our humanity, and moral ways intact we have to experience those feelings.

Love is something I am always seeking, but so desperately hiding from!

I think the saying, "There is fine line between love and hate," is a true statement. I see couples who are genuinely happy, but they fight like they hate that person with every fiber in their bodies. But that is the "baggage" when you love someone so much.

Love will be a wonderful, exciting, dangerous, nerve racking experience for anyone no matter how many time they have fallen in love. Let what is suppose to be, be!

If you are girl, or even a guy, that has been through a similar situation of abuse, dropping your guard won't be easy. I know exactly what that feels like! So here is my advice for you, become their friend before their partner. Get to know them, take your time, slowly open up, so that they can completely understand you.

I am doing that, taking it slow with whoever the person I may have potential feelings for, and work from there. If we just breath, know that we are strong independent human beings, then you can accomplish anything, even LOVE!

With that, I hope today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!
Xoxo <3

Love always,

Email me:

Friday, August 2, 2013

Moving past Afflictions

Life gives you curve balls, at the most random times. You think things are going great, then you hear the back of your mind laughing hysterically at you, saying HA! JUST KIDDING! And you have to deal with the next negative situation your life decides you need.

Everyone says we go through all of these trials, and tribulations so that we can become wiser and smarter. I have even blogged about learning from our mistakes. Though, sometimes I wish I could have a life without real problems.Though we wouldn't be the person we are with in ourselves if we did not have those afflictions or that oppression. We try our hardest everyday to surround ourselves with great, positive energy. But I know about the days when you just can't take any of it, and you are stuck. Stuck in that miserable and dark mood. Those are our hardest days. 

When I was going through my depression, and it was deep, and it was dark. I never had hope that I would get better. I did things that I am not proud of today, that's for sure. We take the simple way out of everything when we are in this state of mind. The simplicity of every situations seems like the best route.

But that isn't always the best. When I was at the end of my sophomore year, beginning year of my junior year, everything started to change. I started opening up to others, and things seemed better the more I talked about it. I was healing by expressing my thoughts, and my feelings about it. Then I decided to take a little visit to a wonderful young lady, and she helped me bring a wonderful club on campus to spread awareness of abuse to others at school!

And at one of our youth events, I heard a story that changed my life. I started a blog, and I am now a featured blogger for her website. Honestly, that is a dream, blessing, and more than anything I could have ever asked for. And behind everything that seems to go wrong in our day to day lives, we forget to look at the little things that make our lives have happiness and joy!

It's always hard to get past the negative things. I have been there, and it scares me when I do have my days. Because when I do have those days, I feel like I am back at square one, then I have to remember all my progress, and know that I am stronger than that, and I am stronger than my abuse, and I can make it through anything.

As can any one of you!

I just want everyone to have the life they deserve, and to have love and peace in their hearts, and in their souls.

With that, I hope today was better than yesterday, and tomorrow is better than today!
Xoxo <3

Love always,

Email me: