Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Curve Balls

Life throws you curve balls. Especially when you are not looking. One minute everything is in your favor, then the next, it hits you and you have the biggest migraine ever.

Every time something good starts to happen, people tell you "See?! I told you something would happen!" They take all the credit, but something totally different happens and it ruins everything. You try really hard for it not to affect anything good in your life, but when it is the one thing in your life that you cannot stop thinking about, it affects every situation.

There are many examples that I could give that are personal, or that my friends have experienced, but I am sure you have your own situations that you can relate too.

When that happens, take a piece of paper and a pen and write it down. When you have your issue, or problem written down, weigh out the pros and the cons. When you have done that fold the piece of paper in half so you can only see the pros. Study them for a minute. See all the positivity from that particular controversy has, and realize that is good, and you CAN move on. Know that you do not need to have the negativity in your life. Wipe it away. If ripping the paper in half and taking the con side and tearing it up helps you feel better, then do so. What ever helps you get over your conflict do it.

You could always journal. Its one way to put your feelings down. It's the one place where no one can judge you, know your deepest darkest secrets. It's a place where you take all your misunderstood thoughts, emotions, and feeling throw them on a piece of paper, and close the book, or that chapter of your day. You can even take that journaled piece of paper and burn it, throw it away so that negativity is out of your life completely. I journaled for a long time, and I still do. I started journaling when I was a sophomore in high school. I was in my honors English class, and everyday we would come in, take out our notebooks and journal about the day before, and our morning. We were able to express ourselves freely. Nothing had to be perfect. We could even say curse words if it helped us feel better. Then at the end of the week our English teacher picked the papers up, read them, made comments, gave advice, and returned it to us by Monday the following week.

She got me started. Then I began therapy. And my therapist prescribed me anti-depressants, and gave me my very first "real" journal. I am so thankful for journaling to be honest. I think it has given me the strength and the ability to sit here, and write to all of you today.

Everyday I ask at least one person, "What should I write and blog about today?" and every reply from a friend is, talk about teenage girls having to deal with guy issues, or talk about sex, or talk about boys in general, and I tell these friends of mine that I am going through the same situations, and I don't know if I am comfortable talking about them. Then I realize that I sit here almost everyday talking about my sexual abuse, and I feel absolutely  comfortable. So for now I tell them, and any other girls/guys that are going through boy issues to start journaling. Getting your feelings out, with exact detail, no hidden messages or agendas, no one to give you their overly biased comments helps you so much emotionally. It's just you and the paper. It is a very personal, secure, and confidential relationship between you two. Nothing comes between you.

Though, I will give you one piece of advice, guys will always find girls complicated, and girls will always find guys complicated. So, what is the solution? COMMUNICATION! Talk with one another. You may fear rejection, or fear the word no, but you forget and forgive. Move on, there are a million, actually billion of fish in the sea, and one day you will catch the best fish on your lucky hook.

So if today you are struggling, if you are upset, if you are having a bad day, even if you're having a good day write it down, and let the paper know exactly how you are feeling. Do it in a private place, never know when you may get over emotional and tears start to stream. I know I have experienced that. I know it helped me feel a whole let better, and I am pretty positive it can help you start to feel better.

"The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be." -Horace Bushnell

Love always,

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