Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Moving Forward!!

Moving forward. Where do you start? How do you begin to have normalcy in your life? How do you trust anyone? How do you have a significant other that you can feel comfortable with, and confide in, with confidence that they won't hurt you in that way?

I have been there. Why move on? It's not like I'm special. I'm just that girl that was abuse and now has emotional issues. Those thoughts were so negative, and dark. But that's the truth. You feel like nothing is left in your life. People tell you everyday that it will get better and you will move on. But what they don't emphasize the most is how long it takes. Here I am 3/4 years later, and I barely have the courage to tell my story. I can barely stand having people I don't really trust touch me, hug me. It's a hard, long, and difficult process! But time does heal. You may never forget, but when you learn to forgive, not the assaulter, but yourself, the process to heal begins.

One day in October of 2012, I got some courage to do a little research, and digging. I contacted a lady, that I have grown fairly close to, who works at the Family Crisis Center, here in town. I told her that I was interested in sharing my story with others. That I wanted to help make a change in this world, and if advocating again sexual and emotional abuse was the way, I was committed. I was still a little doubtful, and unsure if I should do this. I cared to much about what others thought of my situation. And I was really scared as of what my family would think about telling my story to the world! Turns out, they love the idea. They are proud of me, and are hoping I continue this and try to change the world for the better.

Everyday I think, how did I do this? How am I the person I am today? God gave me strength I did not believe existed  He saved me from me. I was on the verge of self destruction to say the least. I could not grasp the idea that I finally moved on, and that I am actually writing this blog entry today. To be quite honest, I can't believe that I have the courage, and confidence to write this blog. 

I have gained so much from my experience! I have learned to value life more, and appreciate the things that I never thought I would. I do not take anything for granted, anymore.  I have become a whole new person, and I am glad I get to share myself with the world! I hope that my story make a difference in someone else's life, because that would mean more to me than the world would ever know. 

Overcoming is hard, and its very confusing, especially if you're a teenager. Your body is changing, you have no control over your emotions. That adds to your hardships! It's definitely a challenge, but life gets easier, and you grow, and you feel like you can handle and accomplish anything. All you need is to believe in yourself, and believe that things will get better. It always does! 

Remember, "God does not give you anything you cannot handle"    

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